Fruition

On June 1st I wrote on my blog about the fragile condition of my garden. I wondered who would survive. It looked iffy for many. I took a “wait and see” approach and committed to loving my garden just the way it was. Well, June and July brought virtually no rain and record heat to the area. I watered and fed my plants; many struggled and some died. Then the rains arrived in August and every living creature breathed a sigh of relief. Now as we cool down and head into fall my garden is full of color and radiance. Miraculously it came to fruition and I love being in it. It seems especially sweet because I know that in a very short time the abundance of blossoms will be gone, taken by the frost and chilly mountain mornings.

As usual, I find a metaphor here for my life. When I pass through a difficult time and emerge firmly rooted and blossoming with the sense that “life is good,” I think I have made it, I’m home. Destination reached; wisdom attained; enlightenment at hand. But, surprise, death awaits and later rebirth with new challenges ahead. The good news is that when that time comes I will be more seasoned, more deeply aware of the power I have to survive and to thrive. All it takes is a little courage and lots of trust that I will bloom again, meeting whatever challenges lie ahead.

Wait and See

My garden did not fare well this winter. Drought and frigid temperatures put many plants in peril. After discussing with an expert how to save my plants, I came to understand that what they need is time to heal and renew themselves. She suggested that we "wait and see" how they do. Hmmm...that might mean a season without an abundance of color in my yard. My garden has so much potential and I am always in a hurry to see it bloom.

But this summer, I will be supporting the survival skills of my plants, not their prolific blossoms. I will have to love them just as they are, battered by the dry, windy New Mexico Spring. I will provide nutrients and care then I will "wait and see."

There is a metaphor here for me about how I interact with my garden of family and friends. I tend to see potential in others and harbor a desire for them to reach higher or deeper or to bring about big changes in their lives. Isn't that what we do when we care, when we love someone? We nudge that potential along. Yes?

Well, actually, no! Loving the potential is not loving the person. Loving the potential sets expectations. And whether our loved ones embrace our expectations or resist, we have taken them off course, denying them their journey through life with its vast set of choices and outcomes.

If we "wait and see," just be their witness, we honor the journey and love the journeyer. We free them from our expectations and we free ourselves, as well, to love them for who they are right now, in this moment. So "wait and see," become a witness in your garden of family and friends. Let them be tested by drought and cold and then choose their own path to survival.

Great Expectations!

I was watching the fledgling eagles this morning on www.ustream.tv/channel/decorah-eagles, the link given in my last entry. Their soft gray downy feathers are gone, replaced by smooth black feathers that cover substantial flapping wings! Soon these little guys and gals will take off into the world. Think about it...they have never been out of the nest yet they will soar into the unknown, setting off with no expectations about flying, catching dinner or building a life without mom and dad.

What would it be like for us to take flight without expectation? I do admit we need to anticipate and plan (those of you who know me know I do it only too well). Whatever it is...a trip to plan, a new child being born into the family, a wedding coming up...a certain amount of logistics are necessary. However, the danger is that when we plan logistics we also create expectations about outcome.

This is where we often get in trouble. It's great when our expectations are not met but we perceive the outcome as even better; we call that a miracle. But if the outcome seems flawed, we are discouraged. Our expectations shape our perceptions and we seldom perceive miracles when we are disappointed, worried or upset.

What if we shed some of our old expectations and the belief system that informs them? There must be some expectation you have right now that you could leave behind in the nest. Keep the logistics, your personal flight plan; you need that. But then step out of the nest, soar into the unknown and be open to life's miracles as they unfold all around you. That's my plan for that wedding that's coming up.