I Have No Words!

This post begins in dreamland, like the last one I wrote. In this dream I was visited by a huge sea mammal. I asked her what kind of animal she was and was told it is not important. She simply wanted me to "come on in and feel who I am." So I did. I became huge yet I swam with grace. Water swished across my body and shafts of sunlight hung in the water above me. I flapped my flippers and glided with ease while little fish darted by, tickling my skin. I knew this animal, and I needed no words or categories to describe her.

As my day unfolded, I took several opportunities to ignore descriptive vocabulary and look, feel, smell and touch instead. I inhaled the scent of lavender oil; I tasted the smoothness of homemade hummus on my tongue; and I felt music coming from my heart. But, of course, I have no words to describe to you the experience. Each experience began with my senses; from there I dove in and made a connection. If I had begun my experience with words I would only have skimmed the surface and never had the chance to swim in the depths of the sea.

Jail Time

Last night I dreamed I was in jail. As the dream evolved I realized I was the one who had actually built the jail and even chosen my jailers. Amusingly, I could leave my cell everyday for lunch and then return again later.

When I awoke this morning I wondered...is this what I do in my life...create my own jails and hire my own jailers? I would have to say...yes, I do. I construct my cell of daily pressures, disappointments and annoyances then choose my jailers from those I perceive expect too much, cause me stress or let me down. I lock myself up.

Yet, I have the key to my freedom, right in my pocket. After all, in my dream, I opened the door and took a break for lunch! Just before I woke up, the jail vanished and I expanded to fill its space, all beauty and light. Lying in bed, I set an intention to bring more freedom into the day. So despite all of the twists and turns in my imperfect day, I opened several jail doors and fired a few jailers and came through the day happier and very grateful for my freedom!

In the Dark

The power went out in our neighborhood the other night. I had so many things planned for the evening and there I was in total darkness. At first every step was uncertain; what would I bump into? I kept thinking it would end any minute and there would be light again. Then I got it...why try to navigate when I could just relax and soak up the darkness? Instead of being uncertain; I decided to be curious and open to the "mystery." I found that as I became more present in the darkness, the more light there seemed to be. The moonless sky was brilliant with stars stretching into space. I began to recall memories of starry nights long ago; my imagination began to play and the night became magical. Who needs the electric grid?!?!!? We really do have the power to create our own light.

New Moon Meditation

The Moon is in the darkest part of her cycle today, the New Moon, when the light dies away and we linger and await its renewal. During this time, from the depths of the darkness our deepest emotions can swim to the surface. We all know the dark emotions of fear, anger and grief and can recognize their effects in our everyday lives. On an energetic level, these emotions can short-circuit our loving nature. They can muddy our relationships, cloud our judgment and even clog our organs and cells.

In the darkness of the new moon, take a few moments in meditation to sit quietly with your emotions. Pick one…fear, anger or grief. Acknowledge the thoughts or the story that is attached to that feeling. Then let it go and sit with just the emotion. Don’t resist it. In fact, acknowledge it, give it the respect it deserves! Just let it become detached from you. Be an observer of it. You may discover that the emotion does not seem so dark and troubling. In fact, as the light of the moon returns you may step into that light and find it shining through to your more truly creative and joyful nature.

Gratitude

Where does gratitude come from? I am little hesitant to admit that it just dawned on me. This is how I discovered it…try this…for the next two hours become a receiver. Just use your senses. Receive the taste and aroma of a delicious fresh tomato and basil sandwich, the warmth of a hug from a dear friend, the fall breeze rustling your hair, the lull of the wind chimes in your neighbor’s yard, the goose bumpy feel you get from looking at a beautiful twilight sky. The opportunities are, quite literally, endless.

After this concentrated intention to receive, you will notice a kindness in your interactions and a patience and love that you bring to what you do. That is the expression of gratitude, imbued in every encounter you have and action you take.

The secret for me was to stop being a doer all the time and to receive. Then gratitude began to flow and I knew that I could bring a fuller and richer expression of my Self to the world.

Let's Think....

A friend told me that she took 15 minutes out of her busy thought-burdened day to sit out in nature. She was amazed to hear the flapping of birds' wings, smell the pine scent and feel the warm sun on her cheeks. Her senses woke up! But she was still aware of her thoughts. Only now it was different; her thoughts had more space around them and were less rushed. There was a calm and clarity to them.

We hear that our thoughts are the product of our egos, that we are way too attached to what we think. Thoughts bog us down and make us the victims of our own stories. But thoughts also guide us and teach us when they are born from a calm and nurtured spirit. So head outside, tune in to Mother Nature. Be in her embrace for just 15 minutes and then see where your thoughts take you.

Freedom through Forgiveness

Like everything else in life freedom is not an endpoint; it's a process, a journey into deeper self-awareness. It is the process of letting go of old issues and the fear, anger and grief that give those issues life.

I was witness to just such an event a few days ago. A 30 yr.old young man was telling his parents how much he resented the way they handled his teenage years. He was not looking to revisit those teenage arguments and they did not judge or justify their actions. They listened with love and compassion. The energy that bound them to those difficult times was being released. No one resisted and no one hung on to the fear, anger and grief that lived and breathed during that time in their lives. They began to forgive one another, a journey called Freedom.

Growing Gardens

What is growing in your garden? Is it a new relationship, business, song or maybe a blog entry, that is taking root? Like the DNA within the seeds we bury in the soil, blueprints for new life are stored in every word we speak, encounter we have and action we take. Each of our creations has the capacity to manifest with fullness and grace. We simply need to cultivate, encourage and commit to that fulfillment.

I don't think of myself as a very good writer. So as I write this blog, I realize I am not cultivating very fertile soil for my words to grow and manifest. Can I pull out the weeds of judgment and self-doubt and just be a self-loving presence in this glorious garden of endless possibilities? How free and fun would that be?

Blueprints

It has taken me several years of living in the high desert to trust “my inner gardener.” I am finally at home in the garden, knowing that all of my plants have their own genetic blueprint for perfection. So gardening is simple…they express their glorious potential and charm every one of our senses, and I just follow with pruning shears and needed support when drought strikes and insects invade.

I too have a blueprint for perfection. And so this summer, I will grow in the safety of my "garden." With the right amount of sun and nourishment, my roots will deepen and my branches spread. I look forward to thriving, being true to my Self and welcoming love and support from all around.

I wish you all a fruitful and perfect summer in your “gardens.” I encourage you to be in touch. I will be making flower essences from plants in my garden and including them as healing aids in my practice. Soul Recovery and Shamanic Clearings remain the foundation of my practice. I encourage you to read more about these and other services at www.susanmaycock.com.

Surrender and Power

When we accept the present moment exactly as it is, we surrender. If we are not attached to the history of how we arrived at this moment or to any perceived outcomes, we become free. And all actions that we choose from this point forward originate within our acceptance of what is. Therein lies true power.

I'm taking an intensive yoga training class. This includes anatomy lessons with a vocabulary that is a foreign language to me. The first day I kept thinking "I will never retain any of this; everyone else already knows this!!!" I judged the past and predicted the future, and made myself a victim of both. No power there. Then I let go; I listened to the enthusiasm of my instructor and marveled at the intricacies of the human body. I surrendered. No...I did not give up but rather opened myself to what was offered to me in the moment, a deeper respect for and relationship with the body and its capacity for fluidity and grace.

Is there room for surrender in your day?

More on Surrender

My son put a question on his Facebook page today: "What is the best piece of advice you have ever been given?" I wanted to write back "Don't expect your children to make you happy." But I didn't write; I was afraid he would think that I was being flip and that was not my intention. But there is a bigger truth here. And the truth is that no one, not our kids, our partners nor our friends can make us happy. And when we surrender to that truth we are left with only one place to find happiness. You got it!

Surrender - it starts with our breath

I discovered recently that I didn't exhale completely; I held some air in. It seems I didn't really, ever, totally want to let go. With this discovery, I decided I better "work on it." So in yoga, as I sat in meditation posture, I pushed that air out and sucked it back in. I had moved from one form of control to another. No surrender there!

Well, today, after a session of body work to ease tight muscles, a little miracle happened. I "watched" as I let go of my breath completely, effortlessly. I was empty for a moment and felt so calm and peaceful. Then the inhale just happened, no effort. It just rose up, expanded and filled me up. I felt revived and renewed.

In exhaling, I surrendered, letting go of the tension in my body and all the stories I carried around. Exhaling actually required me to die to life as I knew it, and to accept being born into a new life with each new breath I took in.

The deeper our exhale and letting go, the deeper our inhale, our expansion and our capacity to live fully. Pretty neat!

So why not surrender? Enjoy the adventure!

How many teachers?

I have come to the conclusion that we are surrounded by teachers all day long. On Monday the Southwest gate agent taught me about being calm in the face of a storm; a fellow passenger taught me about courage and cancer. Today the wind is teaching me patience and every day my husband reminds me to take in the sights and sounds of nature, right outside my window.

There are annoying little moths flying around my office right now. My inclination is to swat them and be done with it but, really, they are my teachers too. Hmmm...what is it they have come to teach me? Maybe if I say "welcome teachers," I can shift perspective. In actuality, they haven't come to take my peace of mind; they have come to give me exactly what I need in this moment.

Life's Teachers

Two very important teachers of mine have recently moved on. One of them was in my life for several years and the other for only a few months but both helped me to understand and experience my life with much deeper awareness. When they were gone it was a challenge to let go. I was sure there was so much more I could learn from them. Then it dawned on me...maybe it wasn't so. Could it be that they were in my life for exactly the right amount of time? Could it be that they provided me with the perfect preparation I needed in order to recognize and receive my new teachers? ...Now I'm sure of it.