My garden did not fare well this winter. Drought and frigid temperatures put many plants in peril. After discussing with an expert how to save my plants, I came to understand that what they need is time to heal and renew themselves. She suggested that we "wait and see" how they do. Hmmm...that might mean a season without an abundance of color in my yard. My garden has so much potential and I am always in a hurry to see it bloom.
But this summer, I will be supporting the survival skills of my plants, not their prolific blossoms. I will have to love them just as they are, battered by the dry, windy New Mexico Spring. I will provide nutrients and care then I will "wait and see."
There is a metaphor here for me about how I interact with my garden of family and friends. I tend to see potential in others and harbor a desire for them to reach higher or deeper or to bring about big changes in their lives. Isn't that what we do when we care, when we love someone? We nudge that potential along. Yes?
Well, actually, no! Loving the potential is not loving the person. Loving the potential sets expectations. And whether our loved ones embrace our expectations or resist, we have taken them off course, denying them their journey through life with its vast set of choices and outcomes.
If we "wait and see," just be their witness, we honor the journey and love the journeyer. We free them from our expectations and we free ourselves, as well, to love them for who they are right now, in this moment. So "wait and see," become a witness in your garden of family and friends. Let them be tested by drought and cold and then choose their own path to survival.
